Not like that didn't freak me the fuck out or something. Still, I can't stay mad at the old man after this weekend. I think any normal person would've freaked out, too.
Trust them, dad. This is the closest you can get to the truth without getting in more danger. Even just by being my father, you're already a threat. Right now, though, it's just men with guns. Men you can deal with for now. Please, please, please, PLEASE. Don't ask me where I went yesterday. Don't ask me where I went TODAY. Don't pry into these things. For both of us.
For those of you wondering where I went, I did some investigating of woods in the area. I've been looking for strange circles of stone. Worn rock shrines. Graves. Anything that might hint at his presence in this area. I found...a few interesting things. Some forests that, according to stories, had been devoid of animal life longer than the oldest man in town could remember. Older than their GRANDPARENTS remembered. I didn't go looking yet, if only because I don't know if I'm ready for this yet.
Fisk is still snooping. Fisk still wants me pretty bad after Sunday. I'm working to the bone just to keep a bullet out of my head. If He gets involved...if He notices that I'm looking...I can't even imagine how it'll end. I don't want to get caught up like this. I want to help, guys. I want to stop this, before it'll end us all. But...I don't know. It just feels like getting AIDS so I can figure out a cure sooner. It's like if you could get AIDS just from LOOKING for a cure.
I'm still a kid. I have too many things still going on with my life. I can't go on the run; I don't need that kind of stress in my life right now. I...I'm sorry. Spender. Daisee. All of you guys. I know you all have your own things to do. Ireland. Redlight. But...if you can spare just a minute for me?
I don't know what to do. I don't know if I...if I'm ready to put my life on the line like this. I have an entire life ahead of me. So many things to do, so many places to go...I've never even left North Carolina.
If I get involved, I might have to start going on the move anyways. But I'll barely have any time to enjoy the sights.
Please...just...someone. Help me decide what to do. Help me decide if this is worth it. I'm just a kid. I'm not ready for this.
God, I need a girlfriend. But then He could probably take her from me.
-The Meteorologist
Zach, I know I said I wouldn't post on my Daughter'a account, but you seem like you need a voice of reason.
ReplyDeleteI hate to see another person my Daughter's age get sucked into this...but yes.
Kid, yes. You're going to need to get on the move.
Quit moaning. I know it's hard but it needs to be done. And keep Mike out of it as much as possible,though taking him would be preferable. To make you feel safer at least.
I'm going to keep him in the loop. I won't tell him about the shit that got you so into this. But I'm going to need his support again. I can promise that.
ReplyDeleteAnd...ah, shit. I really wish I could sit here, enjoy some more of my hot chocolate, and tell you guys what I've thought up. But there's so many places to look, so much stuff we can do...and so few people.
But even Ava got to drink. Spender drinks all the time. I can't even do that.
Never had alcohol...never even kissed a girl...never had a chance to do anything with my life. Is that how I want to die?
I...shit. I guess I'll sleep on it tonight.
I'm not against prodding Spender to pick you up. It's not like we want another road trip, but lives are worth it. Sleep, think, let us know. Keep in touch.
ReplyDeletestrangely enough, my first instinct was to say, no, it's not worth it. guess i'm not as altruistic as i like to pretend i am...
ReplyDeletein all seriousness though, the only one who can decide if it's worth it is you. and i don't mean in terms of sentimentality, i mean in terms of actual worth. weigh what you have to offer to the "cause" (for lack of better word) against what you have to lose. if you're getting into this out of some vague desire to help, but without any real plan or skills to offer, then no, it's not worth it. if you're really, honestly confident about what you can do, that you could make a real difference, then maybe it is.
of course, Fisk's fixation on you throws a wrench into that, as you likely wouldn't be safe from him even if you did back out. but don't let that sway you. if you really wanted out, i'm sure Spender could hide you from at least Fisk.
bring out all the pros, cons, and possibilities, and lay them out in a row. choose wisely.
I have my pros. I have quite a few pros. I've spent no small amount of time thinking about this. Figuring out where to start.
ReplyDeleteIt's just...who says I need to actually get involved to spread them? Spender, Stumblr, Zeke...all of them are all over the world, and they could EASILY do this shit if I just told them.
But then I'd just be adding even more misery on top of their miserable lives. I'm not going to be responsible for another Slenderblogger offing themselves, either. It's just...
Ugh. Fucking ugh.
Get away as fast as you can. Leave the grunt work to us Damned.
ReplyDelete